I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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