I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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