I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just threw up on my dentist
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
