do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
