So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
