i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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