it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
