We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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