I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
