you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I intend to get homeless drunk
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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