So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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