dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
