And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
