no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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