so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
