She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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