Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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