oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
