Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
