I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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