So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
