I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We had to coat check the pizza.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
