I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
