Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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