her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
