You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
