You can't special order awesome
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
