Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
