I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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