There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
