were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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