Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
