at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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