CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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