PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
