Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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