you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
