Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
