No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
