haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
my poor anus
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
