Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
