Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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