dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
