I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
