just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
