im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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