Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
