I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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