they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
