The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
