pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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