I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
