i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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